Another negative pregnancy test.
Why is it that the teens and adults that don’t want kids are always the ones who have the easiest time getting pregnant? Yet, the ones who want nothing else but to be parents are the ones who are struggling the most.
That’s the selfish part of me coming out. That’s the hurt. That’s the part of my heart that needs to be reminded of James 1:2-4, which says “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
Christians will tell you “It’s all in God’s perfect timing.” I believe that, 100% I do. But man, it is so hard not to question God after so many months/years of waiting and yearning to follow what I know His will is for my life.
Aaron and I have already walked through more seasons in our short marriage than some couples may ever walk through. Our first 6 months of marriage we worked opposite shifts so we rarely saw each other. Then we walked through our season of immense pain and dishonesty. We have had seasons of great times as well.
Through each season of our marriage, one thing has remained consistent. God has a plan for our hurt and our sadness. He has a plan for all of our happiness and success. He knows the exact date, time, and place I will be in when I finally get the positive test that my heart so desperately longs for.
I just selfishly hope that that day comes soon.